Sunday, April 8, 2007

My Life/ Tragedy

My Easter did not turn out as planned. In fact today will be a day my family will never forget. At about four in the afternoon, my mom called my house wanting my sister to return home asap. My mom just lives down the road from me and that is where my sister and her daughter have been staying while her husband has been in Iraq. My husband went with her because my mom sounded very upset and I stayed home with her daughter and my kids. Two men were waiting in their military vehicle and I am sure you know where I am going with this. Her husband had been killed in Iraq today. It still feels so unreal to even write about this. I just don't know what else to do. I had my neighbor come over and sit will all the kids so I could be there. It felt like a movie. The two men in uniform, the paper work. My husband said my sister just lost it and he just held her tight. I feel so bad for her. He was due to come home for a two week visit at the end of this month. He was looking so forward to coming home to see his 6 month old daughter. She was just 2 weeks old when he had to return to Iraq for the second time. What sticks in my mind the most was that he was so scared to go back for a second time. My sister said he had nightmares about it and was afraid he was going to die. I can't stop thinking about it. They have not released any of the details yet. I just pray he died quickly and he was in no pain. The thought of him dying alone or wounded just does not settle with me. What a tragedy he would have been 25 in June. He will never know his daughter and his daughter will never know him. I think of how this will affect her life. My sister is in shock. She was surrounded by friends and family all night. We all cried, my heart just aches for her. I feel sad, mad and most of all I just don't know what to do. I can't believe he is really gone. My kids don't really understand. He loved my kids he always played with them, teased them. When my oldest daughter was born he was one of the first people up at the hospital to hold her. He got to spend more time with my kids than he got with his own daughter. My niece looks just like him. I kept starring at her all night. Smiling and happy to young to understand that she will never know her father. What a terrible day. I have to be strong for my sister, which I did, I made calls for her which was so difficult for me. But when I got back home to my house I just lost it. It feels like a bad dream. I don't know how any of us are going to sleep. One of the hardest things is that we have to wait 7 to 10 days before his body can return home. I can't believe he is really gone. Every day families are going through this. Every day those men in informs are telling families that there loved one was killed at war. We hear about it every day but until it happens to your family you can never understand.


joice said...

hi! exchange links? ;p nice site ;p

Barbara said...

I came across your blog while looking around. I am so sorry about your brother-in-law. I just feel awful for your sister and entire family. This has got to stop...I can't stand the thought of another young person being killed over there!!! Again, I'm so sorry.

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

I surfed in via the Random Blog Button, I am so sorry about your brother in law. I can only imagine what you and your family are going through, I'll be keeping you guys in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

We are sending so much love and want you to know we care and are sharing in your sister's shock and pain and your family's exhaustion. We are so sorry to hear about your brother in law. I hope you will be able to write in your blog and keep us posted. Take care.

Lee said...

Dear, dear Shelly. I've not the words at this time. I wish more than anything that I did. I can't even begin to imagine what your sister, you and your family are going through. This is so, so sad. So, so wrong. I wish I could say something to ease all the pain and sorrow you and your loved ones are going through...but I can't. There are no words that can comfort you at this time...other than to say I so, so sad to hear of your loss.

Be proud of this young man who is no longer in your lives other than in spirit and memories.

The time ahead is going to be so very difficult for your sister, for you all. Stay strong for the children...they will need your love and lots of hugs. Be strong for your sister...she will need you to be there for her...let her lean on you when she wants. Be her rock if and when she reaches out to you. You can do it, are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

A brave, fine young man has lost his is not at all fair. It's just not right.

There are so many bums and stiff out there just taking up space, they are wastes of space...and a young man, husband and father gets killed...I don't know the answers, Shelly. I really don't.

My thoughts are with you and your loved ones, Shelly. My heart goes out to your sister. Please...all of you...take good care of yourselves through this terrible time. Be there for each other.

Shelly said...

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. We are a very close family and I know we will help my sister through this somehow. I think that it still does not seem real. Thanks again for all your kind words and prayers.

Chuck Cliff said...

The Technobabe posted and and linked to your post here and suggested we drop by -- words fail me, condolences is a rather pale offering but we offer them anyway.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I just read your blog. I am very sorry for your sisters lost. I will pray for the comfort and peace of her family.

Tom~The~Alley~Cat said...

Oh my goodness im so sorry to hear about your loss especially on easter. Its jsut sad to see the world in the state its in where our soldiers have to lose their lives. My prayers will be with your family.

Mary said...

I am very sorry to hear of the loss to your family. There are no words I can say to make it less I know. Just to let you know I do care and I am saying a prayer for your sister and her family.

beachblogger said...

dear Shelly,

i'm so sorry. you're in my thoughts. peace to your whole family.

peace, peter

deuddersun said...

I just don't have the words. You and your family will be in our prayers. My wife lived thru this in 1969, actually survived this is a better way of putting it. I'm her #2, and frankly, I'm okay with that, as I'm sure #1 is also.

God Bless


Katie McKenna said...

Truly sad. When my man was killed I was in a fog for a month. I have no recollection of that time. I do know though that you and your family being there for her will make a difference.
My sympathy and warmest thoughts to you all. Blessed be!

The Future Was Yesterday said...

I came here via a link on Mary's blog. I too, know the horror of that military car, the uniforms, the almost artificially expressed words of comfort they bring.

I honestly don't know what to say to you, because I remember there was nothing that would ease my pain when they brought me the news my Son was dead in this horrible, inhumane, illegal war.

So I'll just tell you that you and your entire family are in my heart, prayers, and thoughts. This MUST end!! May God Bless you!!

Coffee Messiah said...

It's always a sad day when another human being is killed.

When will DC get off their ass and stop this useless war? ; (

Our best under these sad times for your family!

Ingrid said...

I don't know you or your family but what else can I say then I wish you strenght and grace during this time.

just me said...

When I lost my son in Iraq, it felt the same way. I kept telling someone to slap me, wake me up, because it was all a dream. After almost two years, it still doesn't seem real. God bless you all, and his young wife. I am so very glad she has her family for support.

I don't know what else to say but that I am so very, very sorry. And God be with you all.

Brandi Platt said...

You don't know me, but I know your sister. I am so very sorry for your loss, and I'm not trying to stir up memories of it after you've been trying to deal with it at all. We were all really good friends and Todd was the one person I thought it could never happen to. My husband is over there now and I pray each and everyday that he and all of them, especially our friends and family, come home safe. He will truly be missed and I can't express to you how very sorry and hurt I am for you and for Stephanie. When I found out my heart sank and I cried. I couldn't even imagine. I'm crying now and it makes me angry to think of how many lives were lost in this war and how many more President Bush is going to make them lose for really nothing. Things that they're fighting for aren't that important, not as important as family. And it angers me that no one but the family members see that. He will be deeply missed and I have all of you in my prayers. Again, I am so sorry.
Brandi Platt