Thursday, December 27, 2007

My Life/ Saying Goodbye

I said goodbye to My Grandpa today. They made the decision on Wednesday that there was nothing more they could do for him. My Grandma finally gave in and said to take him off all life support. So last night that is what they did. The last time he was able to speak which was last night he confirmed the decision he was ready to go. I was not going to go to the hospital to say one last goodbye I wanted to remember him on Christmas Eve, winking at my girls. Well last minute I decided to go and see him. I am very Thankful I did. His eyes had remained shut since last night. He looked very comfortable. I sat on his bed as if I were a little girl again and held his hand. I cried and told him how much he had meant to all of us and I was very Thankful to have had him in my life. I talked to him about Tyler and he squeezed my hand. The lady from hospice said that he could hear me but was just to weak to open his eyes. Whenever I mentioned my kids he would squeeze my hand. I stayed for about an hour, then I kissed him and told him I loved him and he bit the oxygen tube that he had in his mouth. It was almost like he was trying to kiss me back. It made me feel so good. He died 2 hours later. My Dad was with him and he said he went very peacefully. I am dealing with it much better than I thought but It helped saying goodbye to him. I always think in my head if I could just see Todd one more time and tell him how much I loved him and how proud of him I was, I would take it in a second. I got to do that with my Grandpa. He is finally home. No more being stuck in a hospital bed. Finally pain free.... Tyler is taking it the hardest. It has been such a tough year for that boy. If it's one thing I've learned this year we are all very strong. We are a stronger family for it. I really pray that 2008 brings some much needed peace for all of us.


Anonymous said...

Huge (((Hugs))) Shelly. We are thinking of you & your family. Let me know if you need anything...
Love ya~Lisa

Anonymous said...

Seems like just when you think there's not one more thing you could possibly handle, God throws you another curve ball - huh? I agree - let's pray 2008 brings peace and happiness to all!! We all need a much needed re-kindling time with everyone!! Give those kids a HUGE hug for me - and one for yourself too!! Love ya girl!

jennschultz said...

Shelly, your writing describes so beautifully this experience, that I am in tears reading it. I can relate on many levels. Your family has experienced such great loss recently and I pray that peace will be with you. Its about time.Thank you for sharing such intimate experiences here. We all can learn from what you have been through.