Sunday, December 9, 2007

My Life/ Okay I'm just wondering?????

Am I ever going to have a boring day where nothing happens? I am really starting to wonder.. I thought maybe yesterday was the day but as luck would have it I was wrong. We started out great we went to have breakfast with Santa which was great, after that we went to get our Christmas tree with the Mott family, which also was great. After setting the tree up we rushed to the Christmas parade where we froze but we had alot of fun. Here is where the story turns, John decides that he is going to go to work and I would bring him dinner later and I was going to do some shopping with the kids. John leaves and I am on the phone with my Mom and Tyler is getting in the hard candy dish, we have a container for hard candy and a container for the rest of the candy the kids can eat, well I watched him reach for the hard candy knowing earlier John told all the kids that they were not to eat any hard candy that they got from the parade. Tyler popped a butterscotch in his mouth and within a second he is choking. He is freaking out, Mom I am choking, oh Mom I do not want to die running around coughing just in great panic I tell my Mom I have to go because I need to call 911 if I can't help him. Oh course she freaks out and sends Uncle Rich over which arrives at my house in less than a minute. But in that time I grabbed Tyler from behind and placed my hands under his rib cage a pushed and out flew I mean literally flew across the kitchen his whole butterscotch. Uncle Rich arrives and we are all really shaken. I mean My body is shaking so hard I did not know what to do with myself. Rich holds Tyler because he is crying and my Mom comes busting in next and I just started crying like a 2 year old. I must say after all I have been through this past year this was by far the most traumatic for me. Seeing My son, My baby so scared and freaking out so bad really frightened the hell out me. Needless to say I threw away every piece of hard candy in my house and made Ty promise that he would never eat any hard candy even at school. That night I could not sleep I made Tyler sleep with me, I just needed to hold him. I think he felt the same because earlier in the night my Mom and I took the kids (all five of them out to dinner and shopping) and Tyler did not leave my side. I just pray that I never have to do that again. Waking up this morning from hardly no sleep, my Mom calls it's my Grandpa they had to put him back in ICU, still no visitors and something is now wrong with his heart. My Mom and Dad were able to see him and they both said he looks terrible. Later today we found out that he also has a staph infection. They inserted some type of tube in his chest not sure what for because I am pretty much banned from the hospital. I mean I would hope that they are going to let us see him if he gets any worse. I do understand because they can't take any chances of him getting more sick from our germs but on the same hand I really need to see him in case something happens. I hate the fact that he is suffering. He hates hospitals and he is stuck in one and in so much pain. I tried to finish my Christmas shopping today he is one of my last people I need to buy for and I can't find anything. I keep thinking maybe the reason I can't find anything is because he is not going to be here. The thought of it makes me feel ill. I can't imagine my life without him in it. I'm just going to keep praying, things have got to settle down at some point right?


Anonymous said...

Shelly - you never cease to amaze me! You are such a strong person and seem to carry the weight of everyone else's problems on your shoulders. Don't forget to let down your guard every now and again and ask for help when needed. It's a hard thing for people like you and I to do - but we need to remember we are not Superwoman! Stay strong girl - Luv ya!!

jennschultz said...

I think its awesome what we are capable of under pressure. Even if you are still shaken, look at how well you handled this! You should be so proud of yourself and how GREAT you are as a mother. And I am banning hard candy FOREVER!!! But seriously, I really hope your Grandpa gets to come home for the holidays.