Tuesday, December 18, 2007

My Life/ Old Pictures...

I was going through some old pictures on my computer and I ran across pictures of my nephew when he was born. It seems like forever ago that he was a newborn. I remember watching him be born aside from giving birth to my own three children it was one of the greatest experience's ever. (without the pain).... As most of you know my nephew was like my own my sister was not into the whole mother thing so Junior was pretty much left in me or my Mom's care. I'm happy to say that my Sister has changed her way's dramatically, I now get him usually once a week overnight at my request. I had him today and he is such a little man. He watches everything and takes it all in, he often looks so grumpy because he has such a serious look to him. This past year and a half has been rather difficult for me letting him go I don't talk about it much not even to John because the whole subject is rather touchy it caused many problems in our marriage at one point. At one point I believed that I was going to be able to adopt him as mine I really felt like he was mine. John warned me don't get to close because it will only hurt in the long run, but I did not listen of course and I fell head over heels for this little guy. He was always with us. I look back and I would do it all over again in a heart beat. How could I not. He needed me, sure maybe at some point I should have told my sister No take your child, but she had alot of growing up to do herself and I did what I felt I needed to do. After months of taking care of him it was so difficult to step back and let her be a mom to him, it has gotten much easier, but I still look at him a little differently I mean like my own. I may not have gone through the pain of giving birth to him but I had many sleepless nights and changed many dirty diapers. Don't get me wrong I am very proud of my sister she got herself out of a very bad relationship and found this wonderful guy that can put up with her and loves her boy as his own. I believe that there are no mistakes in life and she needed to find her own way. She has turned her life around and I am very happy for her and Junior. I'm very lucky that I still get to be such a large part of his life. He loves coming to Auntie's house. Today he was sitting on my lap looking a pictures on my computer and he seen a picture of John, he got so excited and said Uncle. After months of practicing Auntie he says's Uncle, Go figure!!!