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Monday, March 5, 2007

My life/ My Husband

Well I made it through another busy monday with tons of kids, I would feel relieved but tomorrow is going to be even busier. My husband and I are like strangers these days. He is back on the night shift (which I hate) and working a 10 hour shift. We are so busy with our business and our other jobs, we barely have any time to do normal things. It scares me how much I miss this man. I often take for granted what a good guy he truly is. Especially when I think of my friend that is pregnant and her husband that wants to leave her. Which things between them are not much better. Anyway it scares me to think that we all change and grow and maybe our life partner will not grow and change in the same way we do. It makes us vulnerable especially when you really love someone. My husband and I were married young. I got pregnant with my son when I was 20 and we were married 6 weeks after he was born. Everybody said this marriage would not last. We were young, very poor, but very much in love. I think that made the difference. We did not marry because of our son, if that were the case we would have gotton married before I had him. Believe me I was criticised for not getting married right away. I believe that there are no mistakes in life. Certain things just happened for me to meet him at the perfect time. We clicked. He became one of my best friends, and still is to this very day. I mean we have our fights we do that well to. The older I get the more I realize how much I really do love this man. He is an awesome father to our three kids. He is a great friend to me. He is the first person I want to talk to and the last person I want to talk to in a day. This whole thing with my friend has got me scared though. As strong as I believe our relationship is, will it always be strong? Or will it change. Will we grow apart or grow together. It scares the hell out of me. I would be lost without him. Which scares me even more. I hate feeling vulnerable it is my personality to be strong, but inside I am just as scared as the next one. I guess we really don't know what changes life will bring to us, all we can do is believe that there are no mistakes in life. To all those who thought our relationship would never last, I just laugh because I know they are just eating their words. Nine years of marriage and three kids and we are still in love.

4 comments:

Lucky Girl... said...

Hi Shelly..thanks for message..your blog is nice too..

Worldman said...

9 years and three kids and still in love. For me it 33 years and two kids (grown up) and still in love. Don't worry and simply enjoy. Your post touched me very much.

Derek said...

There is, I believe, the right partner for all of us. I have the love of a wonderful, selfless woman. Fears of separation comes up from time to time, and whichever one of us it is, will communicate to the other and it gets sorted out. I am a therapist, and from my experience, nobody is exempt from these sort of fears, but there is a choice as to how we deal with them.

I practise Zen meditation where all sorts anxieties come up - all to do with fear of loss. I see this as the ego-mind putting barriers in the way of personal growth and development so I focus and engage with them, and soon see them for what they really are - illusions. This is what I interpret as the "truth" always setting us free.

Lee said...

Shelly...never concern yourself with what others say. Put all those energies into yourself, your husband and your children.

Also, get rid of those fearful negative thoughts...by the sounds of it, you have something wonderful. Concentrate on that...and rid yourself of all fears and negativity. :)