Sunday, February 25, 2007

My Life/ Friend in need!! My Life

So I have this friend well she is one of my best friends, we have been friends since 5th grade and I'm 30 so you do the math. We have been friends for a very long time. Anyway she is 6 months pregnant with her second child. Her husband (also someone I would consider a friend) just tells her that he is unhappy and that he has been unhappy for years now. They have been married for almost seven years, and actually been together since 9th grade. In fact I am the one who introduced them. Anyway he does not know how he feels anymore. At the moment he says he basically feels nothing for her. He pretty much blames her because he say's that she neglected him with affection for many years. Meaning Sex was way more important to him than to her. Despite the fact they have been together for a very long time, they did not get married young, and they did not have their first child until 2 years ago. So it's not like they rushed into anything. I feel so pissed at him, how can he tell his pregnant wife this? On the other hand I guess you can't help how you feel, but what a crappy time to tell sombody. He is not sure what he wants, so she must bear with him until he figures it out. I guess thats what gets me. She will do anything to get him to stay, she wants their marriage to work, and he is just saying well I'm not sure, we will have to see. She is alot like me, a planner, she must know whats going to happen, so this whole situation is making her vulnerable. She is really putting her heart out there. I wish I could help her, I mean I listen and try to be there. She is not the type to cry, unlike me, she holds things in does not show emotion and let me tell you she has been showing all her emotions. I asked her do you think he has somebody else? She said no, I know that might sound bad on my part but honestly if someone is going to leave someone 90% of the time they have someone waiting in the wings. But she does not think that at all. Me I'm not so sure. Hmm. It's really got me thinking about my marriage though. When you are in any type of committed relationship you really do put your heart out there with the chance of getting it broke. Even the best marriages can fall apart. I can't stop thinking about it (my OCD again) hopefully he will figure what he wants sooner rather than later so she can move on with her life. I really hope they can work it out, but if he does not want to be with her then he should just set her free and not leave her just dangling. Either you want your marriage to work and you are going to try or you don't. I guess we will find out.


QueenBitch said...

OMG thats horrible!!! They should seriously think about marriage counseling..

Shelly said...

She wants to get maarriage counseling but he refuses. It sucks

Tom~The~Alley~Cat said...

Yeah thats really horrible but maybe he's just insecure about a second child? Maybe hes missing the freedom they had when they had no children and it was jsut the both of them? Could be another woman too. Who knows i hate to see people break up and man talk about bad timing! Hope things work out for them because no one wants to have to divide up everything and be pregnant at the same time too.

Lee said...

What a sad situation. They really should have some form of counseling. It's difficult breaking up any time, let alone with a youngster and a baby on the way.

They will just have to sit down and talk this out...calmly...the two of them...if they can't get professional help, they're going to have to help each other through these tough times. I do hope they can work things out.

Tom~The~Alley~Cat said...

I cant leave a reply on my page something blew up but to answer no i have never broken up with a woman and had another one waiting on the side. I have a 1 woman at a time rule and besides my concience just wouldnt let me live it down. As for tring to find out i would suggest aginst it. I have seen it where some people would rather not know for sure. But not only that its a private matter between her and her husband i would let them sort it out. If you find him out that he is seeing aonther woman all his rage and blame is sure to fly your way.