Saturday, November 8, 2008

Boring weekend

Two posts in two days, wow hard to believe for me anyway. I must say this has to be the most boring weekend I have had in a long time. Part of our money saving we decided to really do nothing this weekend, which in all honesty feels rather nice. We did venture out grocery shopping this morning in the rain that was great fun with three kids. Literally last night I stayed in my room watched some TV, read 3 different chapters of 3 different books and texted Lisa at work. I am reading this new book called "praying through life's problems" To be honest I started it the other day and it scared me so much I stopped reading it. I guess what scared me the most was it is stories of real people keeping their faith through accidents, diseases, loss of loved ones. It gave me the realization that any of those stories could be mine at any given time. I hate thinking about what could happen it scares the hell out of me, I try not to if possible, but I must admit those types of thoughts creep through my mind whenever I hear of it happen to someone else. Instead of being scared last night I just dove right in, John came in the room several times and each time I was bawling like a baby it gave me such inspiration. Of course he thought I was just being my CRAZY self. Maybe but it felt so nice to cry, it felt like a weight had been lifted off from me. Men just don't understand that sometimes we need a good cry. Another great thing happened today I received two checks from google each for $100. How cool is that? That means I have made a total of $400 this year which does not seem like much but I have not had to put much into it. Most of you are probably lost the ads on my blog and my other blogs are by a program called google adsense and whenever someone clicks on an ad I make money, sometimes only 4 cents other times 25 cents, just something I have been doing on the side. It could not have come at a better time also. We have hopefully our last memorial for Todd tomorrow. Not that he does not deserve all these dedications and memorials it is very draining on the family. A part of me has been dreading it all week. I even was unsure if I was going to attend, I feel like it just opens wounds all over again, but realizing that not attending does not change the fact that he is gone I might as well go and deal and hopefully heal a bit more from it. I also wanted to thank every one who left comments and emailed me. It means a lot to me that you all care so much and although I am not looking for sympathy it felt good releasing some of my feelings. I went back and read my post and I wanted to clear something up, when I said I would read others blog and see picture perfect lives I did not mean that in a bad way it, I meant for me I felt like mine was starting to portray only the good things in my life and every time I would read someones else's I would find myself comparing and become a bit envious. I just wanted everyone to know the real me, I am not always happy and maybe in the process help others to see that it's ok to have problems. So hopefully I am out of my funk for a while (at least a few days) and I will have happy things to post about. I need to take my own advise and see all the good in my life. Everything will work out, it always does....


Anonymous said...

I completely understood that you meant you seem to only post the "good" in your life. I think that's only a natural thing for us as humans to do. After all, it's not easy to expose our wounds for the world to see.

We do need to remember that no matter what we face, God has a plan for each of us and He doesn't give us more than He knows we can handle. I've been trying to focus on all the good things in my life, even when it seems there's nothing more than chaos, bills and uncertainty.

Enjoy the "boring" weekend(s). They come far and few between it seems. We too have been enjoying more and more of them. Maybe we should start having some game nights!

Love ya!