Monday, April 7, 2008

One Year Later... R.I.P Sgt. Todd Singleton

I can't believe that it has been a year since Todd's death. April 8, 2007 a day in which my family will never forget. This past year has just been unbelievable. I still remember that day as clear as ever, I also will forever remember the pain of that day. I still remember crying myself to sleep that night and only sleeping for maybe an hour and waking up remembering that he was really gone, that feeling would soon hit me like a ton of bricks over and over again for the weeks that followed. Seeing his coffin arrive at Little old Muskegon Airport still haunts my thoughts. Watching a wife and mother, father, sister & brother in so much sorrow is something a heart never forgets. I thought life would never be good again... I did not see how it ever could... But with time the shock fades and life must go on. I still think of him daily, that has not changed, the smallest things remind me of him, certain songs that he would annoy me and sing as loud as he could, him and I loved to disagree, I swear he found enjoyment out of pissing me off. I still cannot find the courage to take his email address off my contacts, I look at his address every time I forward something. Emma thank goodness is still to young to understand but is already wondering where her Daddy is.. She calls John and Rich Daddy because she knows no different, why does everybody else have someone to call Daddy and she does not? Steph does a wonderful job by showing Emma Todd's pictures every day. They have a certain picture she kisses every day of her Daddy. It's funny how Daddy seems to be her favorite word these days. She waves at every truck and waves bye Daddy. My heart breaks for her when I think about it long enough. A year later are we all any better? Have we accepted it finally? These are the questions that everyone wants to know. Well a year later after all the firsts, I can tell you for me, life does go on and it does get easier but the hurt, the wanting so badly to talk to him or see him just one more time still is there. My Sister is one tough cookie, I remember spending many nights with her on the bathroom floor ( I know what a weird place to talk, but we were not in the right state of mind) she would just cry and say I can't do this Shelly, I am not strong enough, The day his body arrived I was the most worried about her, she really thought she might die right on the spot, she even went as far as requesting an ambulance to be near in case she could not make it. For the first few days I had to remind her every hour that she could do this, she had no other choice, soon it would become less and less I would have to reassure her. Slowly she began to live again. She still has her days, and especially these past few weeks we have been talking more, sharing, crying. One thing that we often talk about is our strong faith in God. We know that someday we will see Todd again. Until then all any of us can really do is live our lives to the fullest. Try not to take one person for granted because you really never know when they could be gone... I pray every night for all the Soldiers, the ones we have lost the ones that are still there or may have to go back. Every Soldier has a story, a family, a special purpose in life. The sacrifices these men and women make for us is just something so huge for us to understand unless you have lost someone you love. I used to hear of other Soldiers being killed in Iraq and think gee's thats awful, but go on with my life, but now it's our life, our loved one is gone, and the sun still sets and rises, every ones life does go on, but we are still here without him, trying to move forward one day at a time. So today I remember Todd a Soldier, a son, a husband, a father, a brother, a grandson, an Uncle and a special friend. We will never forget his Sacrifice for it is our sacrifice...


Kristin said...

Thank you Todd and all of the rest of the soldier who gave their lives for freedom. What an ultimate sacrifice that will NEVER be taken for granted. I know this does not lesson the pain the family has to bare, but do know that Todd died a hero that will continue to live on in so many people. Look how he has continued in your life? His death has made you stronger and appreciate the "small" things in life. That is a lesson that unfortunetly can not be learned with out some heart ache. I am so sorry that you and your family have to go throught this. I will continue to keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

You couldn't have said this more beautifuly! Todd was a real PITA most of the time - but that's what made him Todd! ~HA~ He loved to annoy people, argue and tease...and yet, I think that's the parts of him we miss the most. You're right - the sun still rises and sets, but we must never forget.
Love ya!!