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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Changes

I cant believe how bad I have become with this blog, my life has just been crazy, really there are no other words to describe it. We had wonderful holidays filled with laughter and a few tears, Holidays are always hard when you are missing loved ones that should still be here. It puts your life into perspective though, cherish the people you love the most.. My kids are all getting so big, thats all I can really say without busting into tears. As many of you already know or have heard from others, I have been the hot topic of gossip I guess over this whole daycare thing, so I thought I would post the facts. First off I am NOT going to jail lol, thats the newest one I heard just this morning, and I do not have a $500 fine or any fine for that matter, its funny how one person tells a story and it gets totally blown out of proportion and so on. So here goes the story, really I must warn you its not all that exciting though. Almost 2 weeks ago on a Friday I received a letter stating that the state had received information that I have been watching other people kids.. And if I had I needed to get my license or stop watching kids all together. NO jail time or FINES were ever mentioned in this letter. Well getting this letter as you can imagines rocked my world and then to get it on a Friday made not for the greatest weekend for me. As everyone knows I have been doing this since Tyler was a baby, I often worried about getting caught but never really thought someone would turn me in. John had been trying to push me to get my license for quite some time but I knew that it was not an easy process and it comes with a ton of rules and guidelines. I always pushed it to the back burner, I knew that if I did I would not be able to have as many part time kids as I do because you have to actually make good money for this process to work and to benefit from all of it. I was not sure it was worth all the hassle and worry. But now thanks to someone else I have no other choice but to push full force with the license. After the shock wore off the tears came and the anxiety and should I say hurt. I was so hurt that someone could actually do this to me. I am so nice to everyone, why is it someone else's business how I help feed my family. I would never dream of turning someone in for this. Its not like I am making a fortune at all. If its not hurting anyone why does it matter. Lots of people have jobs where they get paid under the table. I think that it should also be a parents choice of who they send their kids to, just because you have a license does not make you a good sitter. I can say that I have given my heart, my patience and my home 100 percent to these kids. Not just anybody could do what I do. So for someone to do this to me, yes I took it very personal, and once I got past that the reality of all the changes set in. John downloaded the application for me and WOW it was a bit much to take in at first. But thanks to some wonderful people I had much of it completed within the first week, John was laughing at me because once I start something I like to finish it asap so stuff that would have taken weeks to do, I got done right away. That first weekend I was a walking zombie, other daycare providers were telling me this is a good thing, I will be way better off financially in the long run. This person actually did me a favor. I would feel good about it one minute and then bust into tears the next. But then after so many tears I started to see things in a better perspective. John and I and our kids had been praying before bed as a family for months leading up to this, praying that things would look up for us financially, Johns work is so up and down and things have been so up in the air just like for many families. John can only take so much of my crying before he blows and when he finally did, he asked me if it ever occurred to me that this was God answering our prayers. He was right, I would have never done this on my own, so maybe this is just what I have to do to get to something better. Then at church for the last two Sundays I have gotten the answers I needed that this was the direction that God knew I needed to be on. Some may call me crazy, and a few years ago I would have never imagined that I would be following Gods word so closely , but believe me I have never felt closer. With that being realized it has made this whole process much easier, I still worry, and I still have a hard time seeing so much of the good about it, but I have faith that things will work out, they always do. I am happy to report that the application was sent in along with a ton a money, and now I am in the waiting mode. I am waiting to hear about my class, after my class I am close like with one to two weeks close. Thankfully my sister has agreed to be my helper until after summer when I can search for a new one. Because anytime I have over 6 kids I have to have a helper, so I will be looking to hire someone after summer. So many changes coming to the Carnes household but lets pray all good ones.

6 comments:

Tallville said...

I completely agree!!! If parents don't care whether or not you're licensed, it's no one else's business. On the other hand, it's not that bad... I was lucky (in my short time) to never have an unexpected drop in or anything go wrong... all will work out : )

jennie said...

Ummm...wow. I had no idea. I noticed on FB that there was something going on, but this is not what I had expected. So sorry that someone did that. The laws are a bit much, in my opinion. But I do think in the long run, this will be wonderful for you. Look at yourself as more of a business owner, rather than only a caretaker. Decisions can become easier to make when its a business decision over just a personal one. And just think of all the write offs!
Congratulations on you fresh start:)

Mandy said...

I have missed you out here in blog land, glad you are back!! You shouldn't worry about anything, you are great at what you do, everything will work out for the best. No worries...good luck with everything!!!

Jodi said...

Okay, first of all, I was SHOCKED to check your blog and actually see a new post!! YAY!!!

Second of all, everything happens for a reason. God does have a plan for you and you're seeing it unfold right before your eyes. Be positive. Nothing will go wrong and it'll all be good in the end. ;)

Lea said...

Girl...have I told you that I love you?!?! Seriously!! I am SO proud of you for handling this the way you have. Although I must say, I didn't hear the rumors you mentioned...wow. :-) You in jail?? Ya..I don't think so.

Anyway - I have to agree. A state license does not mean the sitter is a good one. As parents, we choose what's best for our kids and a license does not necessarily mean one sitter is better over another. I personally would have brought my kids to you if you had the license and obviously..even though you didn't. You are wrong about one thing though..you don't give 100% - you give more like 200%!! You're kind, loving, considerate, flexible and give more of yourself than most people I know. For those reasons amongst many others is why I choose to leave my babies in your care.

Hang in there girlie...I think John's onto something with God answering your prayers. :-)

Kristin said...

I agree with Lea, you are a wonderful daycare and my kids truely love to go to your home. You can not put a price on not worrying about your kids when you have to work. My kids have NEVER cried about having to go to Shelly's...they love it there and love you even more. I trust you 100% and I think that my opinion of where my children go should outrank anyone else.
Oh well, what can you do? Play the stupid game and show "that person" that you are better off for their "bad day".
I believe things do happen for a reason. When your in the middle of it feeling like you can't breathe, take a deep breath and keep pushing through. In the end, you will look back on this and be thankful for it all. God has a way like that:)!