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Friday, September 19, 2008

Changes


My head these last few days has just been spinning with all the thinking I have been doing. John would say that I am just being myself but lately I have been feeling like my mind has been putting in a lot of over time. The worry of Hailey and her broken arm, adjusting to school, making lunches, kids school pictures, book orders, the list goes on. Tyler will be turning 11 next Friday, that has got me feeling really depressed. He is so big but yet still my baby. I was thinking back to when I was in 5th grade and the things I used to worry about. It just does not seem possible that Tyler is experiencing some of these same things. He and I shared some quality time outside Wednesday night, which never happens, I have no idea what the girls were doing but we were all alone. It was so nice just listening to him talk about things. He can be such a grown up when he wants to be. We got on the subject of mean kids, he started to get choked up a bit, I started asking questions and he quickly said Mom I don't want to talk anymore, well that was not going to work for me, so I pushed a bit harder and the next thing I know he was in tears and I was pissed, I promised him that I would not share to much of this with anyone (I know here I am blogging about it) I just need to get it off my chest, but for his sake I won't get into details, he is just having some problems with a few boys at school that he used to be great friends with but now they have turned very competitive at recess and if Tyler scores a goal playing soccer, they will literally push him down and call him names and cheat at the game so that they always win. Instantly I want to call their parents, but I have to stop myself, I can't fix every problem for him, he does not want me too, and as much as I would like to go to school and kick 2 5th graders butts, I can't!!! He said Mom, if these boys keep pushing me I am going to push them back, I have always taught Tyler not to hit or hurt anyone, but he is not in first grade anymore, John explained to me that Tyler must not be afraid or it will only make matters worse. Tyler wanted to make sure that if he got into trouble at school for defending himself he was not going to be in trouble at home with us. John told Tyler the next time someone pushes you to push them back. My advise was just don't play with them, he said he was taking his Dads advise because he was a boy. See Kristin, you thought you had problems with Isaac & Alli fighting in school, wait until it involves other peoples kids, you have tons to look forward too. I have no idea what will come about with all this, nothing happened yesterday, so maybe the problem will just go away. So Wednesday night I found myself just sobbing thinking about Tyler and the bully's he may someday face at school, John wanted me to watch a movie with him that night, he said it would take my mind off things, we watched the Kingdom, very good movie but not if you have lost someone in another country. There was a lot of truth to this movie so maybe that is why it hit so close to home. It got me thinking about how Todd was killed in another country, by the people he was there to help, by nights end I am crying, mad, sad and feeling very confused about life and asking God why do things have to be so hard?? I guess it is just another day in the life... All I can do is just keep moving on like I have been until the next issue occurs and then I will deal with it then...

6 comments:

jennie said...

I instantly try to put myself in your position and it just makes me crazy!!

The main job of being a parent is to protect our kids, but then there are all these circumstances when we need to butt out a bit and I'm like "HOW?"! I am very impressed with the way you and John are handling Tyler. You guys have "armed" him with good morals and decision-making. I know it must be such a challenge for you to let him defend himself. All I can say is that middle school sucks. The worst and most difficult 4 years of my entire life, for sure. Hang in there Mama, the one thing that doesnt change is that everything always changes!

Mandy said...

You can always hire an 6th grade to beat the crap out of those darn bullies!! Ok, but seriously, Kids are mean these days! hang in there, everything will be just fine! Once Tyler gives it right back to them, they will leave him only

Kristin said...

Oh Sehlly, I am so sorry. I think this whole thing (being a mom) sucks!!! I know the rewars are so much great than the crap, but come on. I also know that you can not control everything, if so, I would SO HELP you beat the kids up...maybe even do it for you...would hate for you to be "that mom"! Take care, try to relax. I have to say selfishly, I am so glad that your kids are older so I have a "go to girl" Thank you!!

The Kingdom is a GREAT movie!!!

Anonymous said...

Reading this makes me want to freeze time and keep my boys the ages they are forever!! I remember 5th grade like it was yesterday (it was the year you and I met). :-D It was also the beginning of a very long, hard road of bullying, lying, cheating, etc. I think it's also what makes us stronger in the long run. Ty has great values and will come through with flying colors. In the meantime, it's your job as parents to just be there to listen and support him. Even if his deciisons are the best ones, he's learning.
Hang in there girl and know I'm always here for ya!
~Lea

Life in the Fast Lane said...

Oh man that totally stinks!! I hate the thought that kids are being mean to Tyler and it bothers me greatly, I can't imagine how stressful it is for you as his mother. How hard knowing that its happening and trying to stand back. I would so want to confront the boys too! Tyler is such a GREAT kid Shelly and you & John are doing a great job raising him and it shows so much in his actions and how he is handling this situation. If you ever need to talk I'm always here!!
Love ya~L

Theresa said...

Hey Shelly, You're right, you cannot hold his and and fix things for him all the time, I know it's hard, and I cannot say it will get any easier...(your kids are older anyway, so you will know before me!), But just take it in stride...with that being said, I like Mandy's idea, but I think you should hire an 8th grader to make sure the job is done right!
Thanks for sharing!