Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Oh how I miss blogging

I have been thinking about getting back into blogging for a while, this was always a place I could express myself through writing and was always something I really enjoyed until facebook pretty much took over. So many new things have happened since my last post way over a year ago.. My life has been so crazy busy I can hardly keep up with anything. The daycare pretty much consumes my life lately and can you believe it I have been officially licenced for over a year and a half now? I cant believe how I thought that one piece of paper could turn my life upside down and I look back on how scared I was of this change and it seems that ever since then my life has only been more blessed because of it. Now it seems so stupid that I was so terrified of this change. I thought things would slow down once school started but I guess that's not the case, which is a good thing. We celebrated Tyler's 14th birthday yesterday. Hard to believe that I have a 14 year old, honestly I look over at him and still look for any glimpses of that little boy playing with his buzz light year. When people tell you that your kids really grow up to fast, they sure weren't lying. Although I wish I could keep them small forever I do feel excited to see what great things their future has in store for them. With that being said I cant believe I will be 35 years old next month WOW, that seems so strange, other than the fact of feeling tired out I really don't feel like I am going to be be 35. I look back on my life and all I think about is how fast it seems to be going. I question my actions at times, have I been a good enough mom to my kids, or a good enough wife to my husband? Have I cherished my life with them enough? Sadly as much as I would like to say YES I know that I could always be better. When your kids are younger you just kinda think ok I just need to get through this age or stage and then life will be easier, I wont worry so much but sadly the older they get the more complicated my life becomes, walking , potty training, first day of kindergarten all these worries turn into who's going to carpool, first loves, first heartbreaks, having "the talk" lots of tears from the kids (and me)... drivers training and so on... The worry never goes away and I wish I could go back to when they were all babies and have a couple do overs. I would enjoy their birthdays more instead of just getting through them. I was always so worried about the parties and never took the time to enjoy the actual moment. Another thing is I would have video taped them more when they were younger. I miss hearing those tiny voices. I look back at this blog and the one thing I love is that it has so many memories that I shared about each one of them and my life. For this I am very grateful and gives me all the more reason for starting again...