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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

My life/ Crazy hot day.

What I thought was going to be an easy day has turned out to be a stressful day. I switched around some kids today so that I would be able to run some errands. I had my three kids and just one daycare kid. So we leave around nine this morning. First stop, the bank. It is a hot and humid day here and I just spent a lot of money to get my air conditioner in my Suburban fixed so I am enjoying how cool it is and my son is just freezing. So he is complaining Mom I am so cold. He is so skinny he has absolutely no body fat on his body. Please Mom turn off the air and just put your window down. So I gave in, the poor kid had goose bumps. Well my 6 year old daughter who is sitting behind me starts complaining it's to windy. So I now have my window cracked and the air on really low. We are heading to the Cemetery. We have not been there since Memorial Day. It starts to rain and we have hit construction. My wind shield wipers aren't working, my Diva of a three year old is crying because her shoe has fallen off and no one can help her because she is in the very back seat. I was looking so forward to getting out today I could hardly sleep last night. I am stuck at home everyday during the week because of daycare. By this time I am just wishing I were at home changing diapers and chasing kids. We finally make it to the Cemetery were my son wishes to be alone at his Uncle's grave site. I take the other kids and we go visit my great grandmothers grave. I give him 5 to 10 minutes and I walk back and tears are just streaming down his face. Words can not describe the pain I felt for him. I wish I could shield him from all his pain. He whispers I just want one more time with Uncle Todd, just one more time to play with him and say goodbye. My heart just broke. I still struggle with his death but I often forget that my son is struggling too. He really loved him and enjoyed playing with him. I just hugged him and said someday we will all be together again. That's all I could say. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs and seeing your children sad or upset is the worst feeling. After all the tears we head to the grocery store and shopping with four kids is never easy or that fun. Then we met my husband for lunch which was nice because we never get to. My three year old daughter had a melt down the whole 25 minutes it took us to get home. I still have not figured out what set her off but that's been my day.

4 comments:

Lee said...

Keep telling stories to your son about "Uncle Todd", Shelly. Tell him of every fun moment you can remember...and it doesn't matter how many times you repeat the stories. Just keep talking about him with your boy. Keep a photograph of Todd beside your son's bed, if you've not already done so. Answer every question he throws at you. He, in time, come through his pain...but he will never forget his "Uncle Todd" and nor should he.

Mary said...

Just stopped by to see how things are going. I see it is still a struggle. I think of you and your family all the time. Just wish it would all stop.

Kristy said...

THanks for stopping by my blog. I did add it to ur directory :)

take care

Katie McKenna said...

So tough .. tough to be his age full of questions and pain.. tough to be yours.. or mine.... In the end his memories will be coloured not only through time but also by your responses and your love.

I went through the week this year - it seemed more difficult..despite the time lapse. I'd like to blame it on all the rain.. and being at crossroads.. but... mostly all the rain...