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Saturday, May 12, 2007

My Life/ Traffic Jam

As I write this we are stuck in a traffic jam in Missouri. We think that there was an accident. We are 11 hours into the trip and happy to report that no one has gotten sick yet. My daughter Mackenzie the car sick queen has only gagged once and My birthday girl Hailey has only gagged a few times only because she has been crying. I think that she is over tired. We went to bed rather late and still got up around 4am and she has not slept as much as I have planned. The weather is just beautiful. We were hoping to make it to Oklahoma tonight but because of this traffic back up we will be lucky to make it out of Missouri. My 7 month old niece is being the best little traveler she has basically been sleeping, which could mean trouble for tonight. My sister keeps telling us stories about the times she and Todd traveled through here, I love hearing the stories but it really makes me sad. I only wish we could have all taken a trip together. She has his wedding ring on a chain around her neck. I so admire her courage to make it through each day. I can't say I could go on. His ring is bent we kinda think they had to use something to get it off from him because it was a really tight fit. It still stings as if it were yesterday. I have so many moments lately where I still just can't believe that he is really gone. I know I keep writing this all the time I just have all these feelings so bundled up inside of me and if I think to long about it I feel like a crazy person. I still feel so angry, why him, why now? I can't stop asking myself these questions. Am I ever going to feel normal again? I just do not understand.

7 comments:

Lee said...

You will feel normal again, Shelly...it will take time and there is no time limit. It's an individual thing, but you will. Just keep expressing your feeling and emotions...don't bottle them up inside you.

And you would go on...you have much more courage than you give yourself credit for. :)

monica lasich said...

Thank you for posting a comment on my blog. I have opened up a blog to the public www.alivingeulogy.blogspot.com.

I am asking for posts on eulogies for either the living or the dead. Living is preferred, but I realize that some people have lost someone close to them and never had the chance to speak at their funeral.

Otherwise, you post a eulogy for someone who is alive still, someone you love, but you pretend they are dead. Speak fearlessly, and really share the deepest feelings and experiences you share with that person. You can post using their first/last name, or first name/last initial or just first/last initial. It depends on how fearless you want to be.

I look forward to your post.

monica lasich said...

Thank you for posting a comment on my blog. I have opened up a blog to the public www.alivingeulogy.blogspot.com.

I am asking for posts on eulogies for either the living or the dead. Living is preferred, but I realize that some people have lost someone close to them and never had the chance to speak at their funeral.

Otherwise, you post a eulogy for someone who is alive still, someone you love, but you pretend they are dead. Speak fearlessly, and really share the deepest feelings and experiences you share with that person. You can post using their first/last name, or first name/last initial or just first/last initial. It depends on how fearless you want to be.

I look forward to your post.

monica lasich said...

Thank you for posting a comment on my blog. I have opened up a blog to the public www.alivingeulogy.blogspot.com.

I am asking for posts on eulogies for either the living or the dead. Living is preferred, but I realize that some people have lost someone close to them and never had the chance to speak at their funeral.

Otherwise, you post a eulogy for someone who is alive still, someone you love, but you pretend they are dead. Speak fearlessly, and really share the deepest feelings and experiences you share with that person. You can post using their first/last name, or first name/last initial or just first/last initial. It depends on how fearless you want to be.

I look forward to your post.

monica lasich said...

Thank you for posting a comment on my blog. I have opened up a blog to the public www.alivingeulogy.blogspot.com.

I am asking for posts on eulogies for either the living or the dead. Living is preferred, but I realize that some people have lost someone close to them and never had the chance to speak at their funeral.

Otherwise, you post a eulogy for someone who is alive still, someone you love, but you pretend they are dead. Speak fearlessly, and really share the deepest feelings and experiences you share with that person. You can post using their first/last name, or first name/last initial or just first/last initial. It depends on how fearless you want to be.

I look forward to your post.

Voegtli said...

Hello Shelly. I have been busy for a long time and was not able to comment. I have however followed the ordeal you are going through.

It will take time to get over all this. How much, I cannot tell. This always depends on the individual.

I went through this several times already. Sometimes it took me less time, sometimes more, to get over it.

I think that right now it is not bad to ask yourself questions all the time. It could be a way to work it out. I think eventually the questions will be come less and less.

From my heart I wish you all the strenght to overcome. And please be assured that in a future day, your mind will be at ease again.

Peter

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